From reading on many forums and newsgroups, I noticed that many husbands are struggling to find insight on how to get a wife to have sex with them. This is a very serious problem in many marriages, since a lot of women seem not to be interested in having sex with their husbands anymore. And for most men, sex plays a very important role in marriage!
I am in no way a sexual expert, but I have spent a number of happy years with my wife and she hardly ever refuses to go to bed with me. So I’d like to share a few tips on how to get a wife to have sex – if not always, then at least in vast majority of cases!
Tip #1. Women associate sex with a good emotional relationship much more often than men. What it basically means is that your wife will not respond to you in bedroom if you do not treat her well outside the bedroom. If you spend your evenings in front of TV or newspaper and hardly ever speak to her (or even worse, you yell and get angry at her), don’t expect that she will want to go to bed with you. She needs to feel that she is loved by you, and that you care about her. There are many ways you can (and should) show it to her:
- Talk to her and spend time with her. It’s better than watching TV, believe me! Ask how her day was, show care about her worries, and share your thoughts with her.
- Take her opinions and needs into consideration. I know many husbands who feel that they are the ultimate lords of their households and only their opinions matter. Your wife must see that you make your decisions based not only on what you want, but also on what she wants and needs.
- Tell her that you love her. A woman needs to hear that over and over again, or else she will think that you don’t love her anymore (it’s contrary to most men, who can be told a thing once and don’t need to be remembered all the time). You should tell this to your wife at least once a day.
- Buy her flowers and small gifts.
- Share some household duties with her.
- Don’t shout or yell at her, and even if you happen to (and who doesn’t from time to time?), apologize and try to set things straight as soon at possible.
Sadly to say, many husbands neglect these things after a year or two of their marriage. They fall into daily routine and forget that their wives should be their ultimate best friends. No wonder that their sex life very quickly starts to suffer.
Tip #2. Women’s sexuality is different than men’s. A simple example could be that men usually get excited by what they see, but women get excited by being touched and by hearing the voice of their beloved. That’s why there are plenty of magazines with naked women, but hardly any with naked men! The reason is that men find sexual pleasure in looking at naked women, but naked men are irrelevant for most women. This one example should give you the idea on how different the women are! Also, a man is usually ready to have sex almost instantly, while a woman takes time to “warm up” to sex. So if you are impatient and want to have sex immediately, you can scare your wife off easily.
What you basically need is to talk with your wife about what gives her pleasure in sex, and also read some good literature about that. You will be surprised that a woman needs many different things in bed than you. If you just think about your own pleasure, and not give her what she needs, she will not want to have sex with you.
Tip #3. Never treat sex as a reward, or threaten your wife that you won’t do certain things unless she goes to bed with you. Similarly, don’t get angry and mad at her when she doesn’t want to go to bed with you. She must feel that you love her regardless of whether she has sex with you or not.
Tip #4. Be innovative and experiment. Sex can get boring if it’s made the same way all the time. Try to experiment with new positions, gadgets and so on. But at all times, consult this with your wife, so that all the decisions you make about your sex life will be made together! Again, reading some good literature on the subject will help you a lot.
While I can’t promise that these tips will get your wife to have sex with you all the time, they will surely improve your sex life greatly. If you practice them for a week or two, you will see a difference that won’t let you stop!